expectations too high? it takes baby steps.

This past week I sat down with one of my students, whom I'll call Timothy, to do some report card conferencing. Report cards just came out, and Timothy's was not that great. He had a 1.7 GPA which was lower than his first 2 report cards. =[ We had met earlier in the marking period to make some goals, and one of his was to get a 3.0 on his next report card. Now, he had a 2.0 at the beginning of the year, and I knew that if he really focused on his work that he could do it. However, that didn't happen, and the goal ended up being too big for where he was at.

So we reviewed his goals and made some new ones. He made a new goal to get a 2.0 for this next marking period. I challenged him to challenge himself more than that and make his goal to have a 2.5 instead. I also thought that he was purposely making low goals for himself so that he could earn his reward easier for achieving the goal - like a pizza party or McDonald's lunch. (It probably wasn't a good idea to talk about what he could earn before he made his goals.. but, we live and we learn.)

Anyway, after our meeting, I felt kind of upset because I felt like he was upset and disappointed with himself. I think he knew that I expected a lot from him, but maybe he didn't think that he could achieve my expectations, so he got overwhelmed. I know that he doesn't have a lot of confidence in himself; he gives up very easily. I thought that me setting high expectations for him and telling him that I think he can reach them would help him believe in himself more. However, I think it did just the opposite. I think what happened was he knew I had these high expectations, but didn't think he could reach them because he didn't the first time.. which didn't help his confidence at all. =\

I think I learned that even though I see so much potential in my students, it takes time for them to see it for themselves and believe in themselves. Even though I can see what they are capable of, they might not be ready to be challenged like that. I need to let my students set their own goals, even if I think they can achieve more. I need to let them start small with more achievable goals. They will become more confident in themselves once they achieve those small goals and then will start believing more in themselves and set higher goals. It takes baby steps, and I am learning to be ok with that. =]