Having a couple weeks off for Christmas break was definitely needed. I spent my time relaxing and not doing too much. I updated my resume and portfolio and read a book called "The Fatherless Generation" by John Sowers. It's a very eye-opening book and made me more aware of the epidemic that is fatherlessness in America and how it affects our boys and our men so deeply.
It's incredible how many problems in America have a connection to fatherlessness: gangs and men in jail, to name two. (The book goes into more detail.) Boys need affirmation from their fathers about being their fathers' sons. They have a need to belong and be accepted, and when that isn't provided to them by their fathers or older males in their life, they search for it wherever it can be found. Unfortunately, this need to belong is often found in gangs where boys learn that to be a man is to be violent and put fear into others in order to gain respect.
I see this firsthand to some degree at my school where there has been some gang activity even among 7th and 8th graders. Male students will talk about being in a gang, and in order to get initiated into the gang, they have to get "jumped" by the other members of the gang. And there are rules like if one member of the gang is fighting, if anybody from that gang is around, they HAVE to jump in and fight too. I've seen it happen, and unfortunately these students have gotten expelled. It's a sad thing to think about. These boys obviously have a need, and their desire to meet this need of belonging is greater than their desire for an education.
In the book, The Fatherless Generation, John Sowers talks about an initiative called The Mentoring Project (
http://thementoringproject.org), started by author Donald Miller. It's an organization that seeks to pair older adult males with boys who don't have positive males in their lives. The inspiration came from a documentary that Miller saw about these African elephants. The documentary was about these teenage male elephants who had somehow been separated from their tribe. They displayed uncharacteristic behavior of elephants; they were violent and even randomly speared a rhino at a watering hole with their tusks. They were reckless and angry and dangerous. In the documentary, the scientists decided to try to introduce some older, mature male elephants to these teenage elephants and let them live alongside them to see what would happen. To their surprise, the teenagers completely mellowed out and began to follow the mature elephants. The older male elephants taught the teenagers how to be a male elephant. And that's exactly what our boys so desperately need.
Sometimes I wish so much that I could give my male students whose fathers aren't in their lives the affirmation and acceptance they need from an older male. I wish I could teach them what it means to be a man, but I can't. All I can do is pray for men to respond to this problem. Men, if you are reading this, this is my attempt at a cry for help on behalf of my students, boys in Milwaukee, and boys in cities across America. They need men who love God and can show them what God created men to be. YOU have what it takes to be mentors to these boys. They need YOU. If you don't step up, who will? Will you let them continue to find their acceptance in gangs and violence?
Please take some time to consider this need and pray for God to show you an opportunity to be a mentor. Volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters, hang out with a boy that you know needs some guidance. There are plenty of opportunities out there. Boys are looking for somebody like you. Your time with them is so precious.
