when you wish upon a star.

Last week City Year was given 100 tickets to 2 Bucks games, one on Monday and one on Wednesday. The game on Wednesday was against the Miami Heat. Now, if there's one thing you must know about inner city kids, most of them like to play basketball.. and chances are, their favorite player is LeBron James (who plays for the Heat). If you're not familiar with LeBron, he is a spectacular basketball player, 6 feet 8 inches, who was drafted straight out of high school. He is an idol and role model to countless inner city children because he himself had a tough childhood growing up in the inner city.

The students at my school talk about basketball a lot, and one of my students in particular, whom I will call Paul, has a love for basketball (and football too) that stands out above my other students. He has often talked about getting drafted out of high school just like LeBron, and his dream is to play in the NFL or NBA. When it was announced that I could get tickets to the Heat game, I was excited for the chance to be able to see LeBron play for myself. Then I thought about how cool it would be if Paul would be able to go too.

I talked to his mom, and she arranged for him to meet me there with a family member of his. Paul isn't one for too many words or emotion, but I could tell that he was especially excited to be at this game. He said to me multiple times that he has never seen LeBron play in person and that LeBron is his favorite player. He also kept telling me about the players on both the Bucks and the Heat, and I think he just enjoyed being able to teach me something. I must say, I was pretty impressed with his knowledge, and I could really see his passion for basketball. The Heat were ahead by about 30 points at one point, and every time LeBron, who ended the game with over 40 points, would score or make a great play like a slam dunk, Paul would smile so big, shrug his shoulders, and say "See? He's the best." =] The Bucks ended up making a huge comeback in the 4th quarter and beat the Heat. Paul was understandably mad about the Heat losing, but I think he still had a good time seeing his role model play live, and I think he will always remember it.

I think seeing him outside of school also showed him that I care about his interests as well as his education, and the next day I could tell a difference in how he responded to me. He seemed to take his work a little more seriously and didn't need a lot of prompting from me to stay focused like he sometimes does. Who knows if he will make it big in professional sports, and I have been telling him that his education needs to come first even if he does want to play professional sports, but hopefully this experience gives him some motivation to make his dreams come true!

expectations too high? it takes baby steps.

This past week I sat down with one of my students, whom I'll call Timothy, to do some report card conferencing. Report cards just came out, and Timothy's was not that great. He had a 1.7 GPA which was lower than his first 2 report cards. =[ We had met earlier in the marking period to make some goals, and one of his was to get a 3.0 on his next report card. Now, he had a 2.0 at the beginning of the year, and I knew that if he really focused on his work that he could do it. However, that didn't happen, and the goal ended up being too big for where he was at.

So we reviewed his goals and made some new ones. He made a new goal to get a 2.0 for this next marking period. I challenged him to challenge himself more than that and make his goal to have a 2.5 instead. I also thought that he was purposely making low goals for himself so that he could earn his reward easier for achieving the goal - like a pizza party or McDonald's lunch. (It probably wasn't a good idea to talk about what he could earn before he made his goals.. but, we live and we learn.)

Anyway, after our meeting, I felt kind of upset because I felt like he was upset and disappointed with himself. I think he knew that I expected a lot from him, but maybe he didn't think that he could achieve my expectations, so he got overwhelmed. I know that he doesn't have a lot of confidence in himself; he gives up very easily. I thought that me setting high expectations for him and telling him that I think he can reach them would help him believe in himself more. However, I think it did just the opposite. I think what happened was he knew I had these high expectations, but didn't think he could reach them because he didn't the first time.. which didn't help his confidence at all. =\

I think I learned that even though I see so much potential in my students, it takes time for them to see it for themselves and believe in themselves. Even though I can see what they are capable of, they might not be ready to be challenged like that. I need to let my students set their own goals, even if I think they can achieve more. I need to let them start small with more achievable goals. They will become more confident in themselves once they achieve those small goals and then will start believing more in themselves and set higher goals. It takes baby steps, and I am learning to be ok with that. =]

Men: our boys need YOU!

Having a couple weeks off for Christmas break was definitely needed. I spent my time relaxing and not doing too much. I updated my resume and portfolio and read a book called "The Fatherless Generation" by John Sowers. It's a very eye-opening book and made me more aware of the epidemic that is fatherlessness in America and how it affects our boys and our men so deeply.

It's incredible how many problems in America have a connection to fatherlessness: gangs and men in jail, to name two. (The book goes into more detail.) Boys need affirmation from their fathers about being their fathers' sons. They have a need to belong and be accepted, and when that isn't provided to them by their fathers or older males in their life, they search for it wherever it can be found. Unfortunately, this need to belong is often found in gangs where boys learn that to be a man is to be violent and put fear into others in order to gain respect.

I see this firsthand to some degree at my school where there has been some gang activity even among 7th and 8th graders. Male students will talk about being in a gang, and in order to get initiated into the gang, they have to get "jumped" by the other members of the gang. And there are rules like if one member of the gang is fighting, if anybody from that gang is around, they HAVE to jump in and fight too. I've seen it happen, and unfortunately these students have gotten expelled. It's a sad thing to think about. These boys obviously have a need, and their desire to meet this need of belonging is greater than their desire for an education.

In the book, The Fatherless Generation, John Sowers talks about an initiative called The Mentoring Project (http://thementoringproject.org), started by author Donald Miller. It's an organization that seeks to pair older adult males with boys who don't have positive males in their lives. The inspiration came from a documentary that Miller saw about these African elephants. The documentary was about these teenage male elephants who had somehow been separated from their tribe. They displayed uncharacteristic behavior of elephants; they were violent and even randomly speared a rhino at a watering hole with their tusks. They were reckless and angry and dangerous. In the documentary, the scientists decided to try to introduce some older, mature male elephants to these teenage elephants and let them live alongside them to see what would happen. To their surprise, the teenagers completely mellowed out and began to follow the mature elephants. The older male elephants taught the teenagers how to be a male elephant. And that's exactly what our boys so desperately need.

Sometimes I wish so much that I could give my male students whose fathers aren't in their lives the affirmation and acceptance they need from an older male. I wish I could teach them what it means to be a man, but I can't. All I can do is pray for men to respond to this problem. Men, if you are reading this, this is my attempt at a cry for help on behalf of my students, boys in Milwaukee, and boys in cities across America. They need men who love God and can show them what God created men to be. YOU have what it takes to be mentors to these boys. They need YOU. If you don't step up, who will? Will you let them continue to find their acceptance in gangs and violence?

Please take some time to consider this need and pray for God to show you an opportunity to be a mentor. Volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters, hang out with a boy that you know needs some guidance. There are plenty of opportunities out there. Boys are looking for somebody like you. Your time with them is so precious.

"Like You" - Lecrae music video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiDOyQCCpKs

oobleck and goal setting

Well, it's been a month since the last time I posted.. and it has been a good month indeed. =] I still love my students and am so grateful for this opportunity to live life with them. It's amazing how confirming City Year has been that this is what I want to do.. work so closely with youth and build relationships with them.

Here is a picture of my team (minus Cedric) after we led our "community meeting".. something that each of the 6 teams has to do to share with the rest of the corps what is going on at their school. It is done in a skit style, and our theme was the NWSS Gangsta's. We each had gangsta' names.. mine was "ginger snap" or "g-snap" for short. =] It was a great bonding time for my team because we had to come together quickly and plan it in only 3 days.. and it turned out awesome! Lots of laughs went into it, and lots of laughs came out of it. =]

I'll tell a funny story that happened yesterday.. but we'll see how funny it is to you reading it because I was cracking up and still crack up picturing it in my head. This week City Year has been putting on this "Gettin' Live in the Library" with various activities for teachers to sign up their classes to come to in the school library. My class went to it yesterday and did a science experiment that one of my teammates led. They had to explore this "oobleck" substance (made of cornstarch and water) and use the scientific method to determine if it was a solid, liquid, or gas. They were in groups and each group had a container of "oobleck" that they could play with. It was a little messy, and we had newspapers on the tables so that the tables wouldn't get dirty.. (but that never works like it's supposed to, of course). One of my students, was playing with some oobleck when he suddenly sprung up from his chair and exclaimed, "man, this stuff is dangerous!" He had dropped a chunk of it onto the table!.. and had this guilty, embarrassed look on his face like "oh man, they're gonna be mad cuz I spilled it everywhere.. I thought I could handle it!" It really wasn't a big deal.. it's pretty easy to clean up.. but his reaction to his mistake was priceless! He just didn't want to get in trouble.. it was the oobleck's fault because it was dangerous. I said to him, "what did it do, jump out of your hand?!" hahaha. The things my students say..

Anyway, I've also been setting some goals with a few of my students relating to their grades and behavior, and I've been so impressed with what they have come up with on their own.. such as not giving up when they get frustrated, or not talking in class, or gaining their grandma's trust back by being responsible and getting good grades. 7th graders can be so squirrely, but they also know what is expected of them and can be real when they need to be. I've seen a huge difference already in one of my students who I did goals with. He wasn't motivated really at all to do his work and do it well and would give up easily when he got frustrated. Since we came up with goals last week, I haven't seen him give up, and he has been so focused and motivated to do his work. He even told me that he was going to get a 4.0 this marking period. We'll see what happens.. but it's like he just needed somebody to set out clear expectations for him and believe that he could achieve them. He's a very smart kid, but he doesn't see that in himself yet.

I can't say enough how much I love my students, and I hope to continue to build a relationship with them where they see me as somebody who believes in them and somebody they can trust. I can't believe it's already December. I really need to take advantage of every day I have with them.. because they will all be gone so quickly. =[ But I'm sure there are many more fun and rewarding times ahead. =]

what does it take to change a way of thinking?

This update is a little overdue, but nonetheless, here it is. I am in the full swing of things now.. getting to know my students better and finding my niche at my school. Every day I am so thankful for this opportunity God has given me to interact so closely with my students. It's truly a blessing, and it's so reassuring that working with this population of inner city kids is where the Lord wants me.

I will give you a little update about "Moses." Although he is still quiet at times, he has quickly overcome his shyness around me and often smiles and makes jokes with me. He has been coming to our after school program where we do homework help and also do some kind of activity, and he is also becoming good friends with another one of my students. It's been really fun for me to see them connect and form a friendship. =]

Last weekend we celebrated Make a Difference Day (a national day of service) at my school! It was a day where all 60+ City Year members and 40+ volunteers came to paint murals and quotes on the wall and also clean up the courtyard by mulching and weeding. The mural I helped paint is in the photo above - NWS's motto with an eagle which is the mascot. It was an incredible day because of the impact it makes on the school climate. For students to see and know that somebody came to their school because they care about them and their success is a priceless thing.. especially at a school that has been getting some negative attention lately. I want the students at NWS to be proud of their school and feel apart of a community there, and I think Make a Difference Day was the perfect springboard for that to start. Of course it will take a lot of work, but I have hope.

I think one of the biggest obstacles I see in Milwaukee - and my school especially - is the belief that if somebody hits you, you have to hit them back.. or if somebody talks slick to you, you have to beat them up so they know you're not "soft" and you're not going to take them talking about you. From what I've seen, it's so deeply ingrained in the culture.. which is why I think there are so many fights and violence here. I was talking to a couple of my girls about it and telling them that I don't understand how fighting and violence are the answers to problems. One of them replied that fighting is "fun" because you get to see who's better by whoever wins the fight. I do see their point.. that if you beat somebody up, they'll think twice about messing with you the next time.. but how do you change this way of thinking?? All I say is that violence is not the answer and that it just leads to more violence. I've talked to a couple students too about how it's a cycle and somebody - a leader - has to stand up against it and stop the cycle. I'm not sure what else I can do. What will it even take to change this way of thinking that so many of these children are brought up with?? I've been thinking about this a lot lately and would definitely appreciate any thoughts or ideas that you have.

Thanks for reading! =]

relationships forming

We have been at school full time since the last time I posted, and have been working a lot in the classroom. I have been assigned to a 7th grade class that travels together as a cohort from class to class, so I am with them for Math, Reading, and English (about 25 students). I've been focusing on getting to know them and gaining their respect these first few weeks, and have been doing whole-class support rather than small group pull-out tutoring sessions. Basically, I've been walking around the classroom when the teacher is teaching, making sure everybody is following along, and prompting them to follow along if they aren't already. If they have questions during work time, I also help them with that. It has been a really sweet time forming connections and seeing the ones who are a little hesitant to talk to me - seeing me as an authority figure - let their guard down a little and start a conversation with me. I don't want to be pushy with them.. I want them to be able to trust me as they feel comfortable, and I am beginning to see that which is cool. =]

There are a handful of students that the Lord has especially brought to my attention who may need more love an attention than others. These students are usually instigators and don't like to do what teachers or other people tell them to do. They may come from a tough home life and have experienced a lot of hurt, which is probably what has built up the walls they put up. There is such a drastic difference between students who have somebody in their lives who expect them to succeed and do well and those who don't. From what I've noticed, students who have parents or somebody that expects them to do well, are usually hard workers in class, and those who don't work hard and slack off probably don't have somebody in their life who wants them to do well. It's these students who I really want to build a relationship with. I want them to know that I care about them.. that I see who they can become.. and that I want to help them get there.

I'll introduce you to an ounce of City Year culture: Every CY Corps Member has written a "Why I Serve" statement, declaring to others and themselves why they have chosen to commit a year of their life to service. These statements are something to give you vision for the year and motivate you when you feel like giving up. I will share with you my "Why I Serve" statement: "I serve because I believe in the power that one relationship can have in motivating a young person to reach their potential." This is the vision that the Lord has given me for the year, and I think about it every day that I'm in school.

I'll share a story about one of my students who I am making a connection with. I will call him Moses because he is bright and has the words to say, but isn't very confident in them. He is a pretty quiet student, and up until a few days after I met him, I hadn't seen him smile. He doesn't talk a whole lot to his classmates, and doesn't seem to have many friends. Last week my class had an assignment to write their own short story. They were learning about the parts of a story (characters, setting, conflict, etc.). The story could be about anything they wanted and could include fantasy and things that weren't real. The teacher wanted them to use their imagination. I went over to his desk to see how he was doing with his story, and was surprised to see that he had already written it. His story was about doing well in school and about how some students wanted to fight, and they fought in one class and were still fighting in the next class, but by their last class they had decided to stop fighting and wanted to learn instead. What was so amazing to me was what he chose to write about.. he could've made up anything, but it was clear that this fighting was bothering him, and all he wanted to do was do well in school.. and the fighting was inhibiting that. And then, when the teacher asked for examples of the moral/lesson in the students' stories, he even raised his hand! (Of the 2 weeks I have been working with him, I have never seen him raise his hand in class other than that time.) He said that the moral of his story was "doing well in school," and a lot of his classmates turned around when he said that because they were so surprised that he had spoken up. He is gaining confidence in himself, and I have seen him work a lot harder this past week than the first week I was with him. It's been a cool transformation to see, and I'm excited to see him grow more. =]

I have a handful of stories about specific students that I would love to share; however, I can't share too much on here for the sake of student privacy. If you would like to know more, please ask! I love my students already and love talking about my experiences with them. =]

If you would like, I would definitely appreciate prayer for my relationships with my students.. especially the ones who have a lot of walls built up.. that the Lord would break them down and that I would know how I can show them love. I can try to love them, but only the Lord can change their hearts.

being a "man" on the bus

Since my last post we've still been doing a lot of training, but we have also spent some time in the schools. The past 2 weeks we've spent half-days at the school and then come back to the office for more training for the second half of the day. The training is good, but I'm definitely ready to be in the school all day. We've also only really been observing classrooms. I don't have an assigned teacher or students yet, so I've been just taking in how classes/teachers function and have also been trying to connect with some students in the mornings and at lunch. Building trusting relationships is a process, but it does help that a lot of the students remember City Year from being in their school last year. That gives us something to talk about, and it's nice that they already have a sense of what we do and who we are. =]

Something happened the other day that was very eye-opening for me. My team and I take the bus back to the office every day which takes about an hour, and it's usually a very crowded bus. Thursday was no different. Lots of people were standing in the bus and there wasn't a lot of room to move around. There was a father standing by the back door of the bus with his 2 children under 3 years old in a stroller in front of him. The bus stopped to let people out, and this other guy tried to slide behind the father and stroller to get out of the side door. I didn't see what happened, but the guy must have bumped into the stroller a little because the father got a little upset and was like "dude, I've got a stroller right here, just wait a second so I can move it and let you out." The guy trying to get out then said kind of apologetically that he was just trying to slide by because he couldn't make it to the front exit and didn't mean to push the father or the stroller. It could've just ended right there and the guy could've just gotten off the bus, but it didn't and the guy wouldn't get off the bus.. he stayed on to argue with the father.

The 2 men kept going back and forth and the situation escalated. Pretty soon they were yelling and swearing at each other and other people on the bus were trying to calm them down. The woman sitting next to me, about my age, even got up and got in between them to try to separate them and push the guy who was trying to leave off the bus. Meanwhile, the 2 young children were still right between them in the stroller, and the mother of them then got into it, yelling at the guy, saying that her children are right there. She was trying to protect them, and she finally moved them over to where 3 other small children were.

Eventually the guy who was trying to leave finally left, and the bus could've just gone, but apparently in the meantime the bus driver was arguing with 2 other women, so she had called security and we all had to wait until they came. A few minutes later, the guy who had gotten off the bus, got back ON and was walking towards the back where the father was. People stopped him from going back there, and then he said to him that he apologizes and he was just trying to slide by. I was thinking, ok great, he's letting it go and just wanted to say sorry. But no. Then he started saying stuff like "if we were in the streets we could handle this differently" and then said some things about his mama and that he's boss and that he's a man (to which the father also replied that he is a man too). And then the guy finally walked off the bus again, making sure to tell the father that he stays at such and such address in case he wanted to come find him and handle it in the street.

So I'm sitting there thinking.. this whole situation is over a STROLLER that was in the way a little bit. Really?! Really. There was no reason for the situation to get so out of control! And then later I was thinking WHY did those 2 guys make such a huge deal out of something SO little?? What was the big deal to them? Was it that neither of them wanted to let down and show weakness in front of everybody? Were they both trying to assert their dominance and get respect from the other? What is it? They apparently both thought that they were men. So does being a "man" mean that they don't let anybody step on them or take advantage of them.. even over a STROLLER?! The whole thing must be so much deeper than it appears. And then the kids.. this is what they are brought up with.. that you handle problems by yelling and swearing. There was a desperateness to the whole thing.. these 2 people wanted to be heard and understood and respected.. and that's how they've learned to do it.

There is a desperate need for God to redefine what being a man means in the city. Because in the city it's about appearing the toughest, using fear and intimidation to get respect, and manipulating to get what you want. The city needs Godly men to be role models to boys and other men, showing them what being a man really is.

God is using this instance and others to show me something deeper. People are starving for significance and love, and if God is willing to use my broken and selfish self to somehow communicate love and significance to my students and other people in Milwaukee, then so be it. Here I am Lord.

I would love to hear your thoughts on any of this, so please do respond if you would like!